why didn't you poke me back
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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