I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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