me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish you could order shots online.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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