thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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