I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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