Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
