my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize