And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize