I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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