Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize