I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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