She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
