Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
