Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
