I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
