shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
