Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize