I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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