Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Can i not drive my cunt home
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
