Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
