I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
