nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
