she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
