I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
