Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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