He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize