Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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