Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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