it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
