This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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