he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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