Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
