My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
