And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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