I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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