Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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