Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
