did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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