But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
