how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
