dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
