I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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