she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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