you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Drake has all the answers
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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