FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Boobs speak an international language.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
