epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
