I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
