i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
