id be glad to
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
