he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
