Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
