so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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