Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
