Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Operation Purity has been aborted
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
