Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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