Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
