Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
