Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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