Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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